


His Botchama

by PhantomOfLightandDarkness



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M, Minor Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan/Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 10:35:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12629142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomOfLightandDarkness/pseuds/PhantomOfLightandDarkness
Summary: Jii watches in amazement. His Botchama is very unpredictable, but when it comes to the little detective, he gets excited to the point where he's almost reckless.Jii saves Kaito-botchama out of multiple situations, and he couldn't help but be happy to help. This time, he was just grateful he was there.





	His Botchama

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12616332?view_adult=true).
> 
> This fic isn't connected to the story in any way, but please check it out, it's hilarious.

**X-X-X-X**

“Jii-chan, care to prepare the props for this show?”

“Of course, Young Master.”

Kaito smiled as Jii went to the back, and he leaned back. Kaito couldn’t appreciate Jii enough. Though, that’s just about it. He leaned on the counter as he thought about this next heist. Grinning.

 _Detective-kun_ was gonna be there, since Suzuki is the one hosting the heist. Kaito couldn’t help but chuckle lightly as he took out a piece of paper for some future props to use for this heist.

He left the note, as he got a call from Aoko.

Jii eventually came out to see the leftover notes from this heist idea.

Jii just couldn’t help but notice Kaito gets awfully excited to a point where he’s reckless. He thought about the little detective that Kaito often mentions. Wondering what his young master sees in a little child like that.

He hopes he waits, if it’s like that.

He went to the back to prepare the props.

Before doing that, though, he has a few customers he needs to attend to.

They just walked in, and they definitely needed drinks. He listens as they spoke about the latest Suzuki challenge.

**X-X-X-X**

“Thank you!”

Kaito brightened up as the props came in, ready for the heist the next night.

He grabbed one to make sure they’re in top shape.

Jii couldn’t help but warn.

“You best be careful, Young Master.” Jii gave a polite bow, “I heard that one more obstacle blocks the way.”

“ _So, he will attend_.” Kaito brightened up, proving Jii right. Kaito put down the prop, “Of course. Thank you.”

“By the way, what kind of… Attraction is this?” Jii asked, curiously, “Towards this little detective?”

“Attraction? That’s a weird way to put it.” Kaito chuckled, “It’s a special kind of audience. A critic, if you will.”

“Critic?”

“I gotta do my best when he’s around!” Kaito looked at Jii with bright, and big eyes, “He’s amazing!”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Elaborate?” Kaito conjured up his hat, suspicious, “How else would I put it?”

“These are simple questions, young master.” Jii rose an eyebrow, “I can understand if you can’t tell.”

Kaito gave a thoughtful look, before brightening up.

“What the heck.” Kaito smirked, “He’s smart, cocky, and probably a bit _too_ sarcastic! I love those bits about him, and he can be _so cool_ at times! A strong kick, too! Jii-chan, he’s _amazing_!”

Jii smiled as Kaito practically exploded with happiness. Literally. Kaito conjured up different items, using mini smoke bombs. Conjuring up a ball, a book, and… _Is that his glasses_?

 _How did his master get his glasses_?

“Pardon the question, but…” Jii eyed the items suspiciously, “Did you steal those from the young detective?”

“S-Steal!? N-No.” Kaito flushed, as he conjured up some large cloth to make each one disappear. “ _B-Borrowed_ would be a better term. Plus, a-as the term suggests, I-I’ll give them back. I-I promise.”

Jii watched as Kaito composed himself. Putting back his poker face.

“No big deal.” Kaito smirked, “Come on, let’s get ready for tomorrows heist.”

“I really do hope you return those items, Master Kaito.”

“I will, you don’t need to nag me about it.”

“Of course, young master.”

They went to the back to plan Kaito’s heist.

Jii curious about Kaito’s apparent tendency to stalk.

**X-X-X-X**

“Let’s meet later, _detective-kun_!”

Kaito laughed as he activated his glider, and flew off. Conan watched from the rooftop, and Inspector Nakamori yelling behind him. Kaito smirked, holding the gem in hand.

 _Plus one more item_.

Once the cost was clear, Kaito landed somewhere, where no one can see, and put away his wings.

He quickly changed back into his normal clothes, and called Jii. Softly smiling at the gem.

Yesterdays flashback suddenly caused him to flush as he remembered his promise to Jii.

He owned Jii that much, at least.

 _He’s suppose to be harmless, no need to add more to his list of crimes_.

Once he finished his call with Jii, he called someone else.

“ _Hello_?” They asked, uncertain, “ _Who is this_?”

“Um, this is…” He imitates a woman as he thought of an excuse, “… The wrong number, sorry.”

He hung up immediately, before sighing.

 _He can’t even get himself to talk to the little detective properly_. _He has another idea, though_.

“ _Hello, Mouri Agency_.”

“Is this the Sleeping Kogoro?” He imitates the same woman from earlier, “I hope you’d help a _single_ lady out. P-Please come here.”

“ _Oh! Of course!_ ” Kogoro cried, obviously taking the bait, “ _Where are you at!?_ ”

“I’m at this location.” He whispered his location, before brightening up, “I… I’m hoping you’d have a kid with you, I love kids! I hear one on the other line! M-My kid would be so lonely when you help me out…”

“ _Oh, same here_!” Kogoro cried, laughing, “ _Come on, brat, we’re leaving_!”

With that, Kaito hung up, as he began to dress up.

Disguising himself as a random woman. He smiled at himself, proud of his figure, before putting on the latex mask. Looking at himself in the mirror that appeared out of nowhere.

Perfect. That’ll get Kogoro to do _whatever he wants_.

He set up some scenarios in his head, before waiting patiently for either Jii, or Kogoro to arrive.

He hoped it was the latter, first.

**X-X-X-X**

As he hoped, Kogoro came first.

Though, not long after, Jii came.

He just hoped he could fool _even Jii_.

How did that saying go? _To fool your enemies, you must fool your friends first_. Too bad that term came a _bit too soon_ for Kaito.

He silenced his phone first, just in case Jii calls again.

He walks up to Kogoro, smiling.

“Oh, hello, detective!” He cries, imitating that same woman from earlier, “Here I am! Care to help me?”

“Of course!” Kogoro brightened up, as Conan tilted his head. Kogoro grinned, “Anything for you!”

“Oh, I’m flattered!” Kaito cried, pretending to fall for Kogoro, “My child is around here, somewhere! Though, I don’t know where… Care to be a dear, and look for some items for me? Maybe you’ll run into my child when they come around.”

“Oh, of course!” Kogoro seemed a bit disappointed, but he nodded anyways, “Anything! What are those items?”

“Think of it this way, it’s a scavenger hunt!” Kaito brightened up, “You’ll get a… _Special prize_ if you find them.”

By that point, Kogoro went full on red. Obviously taken in by the _suggestive words_. He laughed loudly, declaring he’d find anything for the lovely lady.

 _Conan, however, looked suspicious_.

Jii was still oblivious, but he listened and watched the scene anyways.

 _Kaito was happy to perform for an audience of three_.

“Can you find a ball somewhere near the bushes?” Kaito started, fake pouting, “That’s a start. My child kicked it somewhere there, but we never found it…”

“Leave it to me!”

Kogoro went to the brushes to look, while Conan walked up to Kaito with a curious look. _Curse his child features_.

“Why are you out here, alone, ma'am?” Conan asked, childishly, “If you’re _a single mom_ , then why did you leave your child _alone_? Why bring them out here when _it’s past their bedtime_?”

 _Shit, those were some good questions_. _Jii is starting to look suspicious now_.

“We actually came out here, together!” Kaito answered, no problem, “Unfortunately my child ran off on their own. I’m worried about them, yet at the same time, I’m worried we’ll never find the items we’re looking for.”

 _Plus one for quick thinking_.

“So, you both came out here for the items?”

“Exactly!” Kaito smiled, “There’s a total of three, which is why I’m gonna look for my child while Kogoro looks for the items! I _really_ need his help for this!”

“I’ll help too, ma'am!”

Kaito _giggled_ , as he walked away, towards Jii.

Jii looked at Kaito before deciding to give a polite smile.

“Good luck with your scavenger hunt, ma'am.” Jii said, giving a tip of his hat, “I’m looking for someone myself.”

“Oh, I hope you find them soon!” He laughed, to hide his relief, “Good luck to you, too!”

With that, Kaito went back to the scene where Kogoro brought back a ball. Laughing.

“Thank you, _detective_.” Kaito smiled flirtatiously, “Care to look for a pair of _glasses_?”

“Glasses?”

“Yeah, my child has a pair.” Kaito sighed, acting distressed, “Unfortunately, we lost a pair ourselves, near _those bushes_.”

“What happened for your child to lose their glasses?” Conan asked, curious, “Why are you so certain they’d be in the bushes?”

 _Another good question_.

“They got bullied earlier, and we had to get them medical treatment.” Kaito answered, sighing in false sadness, “I completely forgot about their glasses until now. Don’t worry, they have a spare, but I wanna get their old ones, just in case.”

 _Strike two for quick thinking_.

“Do they get bullied often?”

“Oh, _very often_.” Kaito pouted, “It really hurts me that they are bullied every day, almost. At least I’m here for them.”

“Yeah.” Conan nodded, before turning away, “I gotcha.”

He checked on Jii, who was eyeing Kaito, and the scene, and he wondered if Jii caught on, or not. It seems the glasses bit probably tipped him off, and if not, he’ll be very surprised. Kaito acted uncomfortable, as the old man behind him eyed him. Hoping to tip Jii that he’s acting like an impolite gentlemen.

“Found them!” Kogoro cried, as he held the glasses to Kaito, as he smiled back. Kogoro laughed, as he felt proud to find these easy items, “They’re a little scratched up, but here they are!”

“Thank you!” Kaito brightened up, before placing it down next to the ball, “One more item, I promise.”

“Leave it to me!”

“Um.” Kaito paused for a moment, knowing full well that mentioning this would _definitely_ tip Jii off. He smiled shyly, “Can you find my child’s book? It’s… Sherlock Holmes, and he loves those series.”

“No way!” Conan cried, startling both Kaito and Kogoro, “Me too! Which book? I-I’ll look for it, this time!”

“Oh, um…”

He didn’t get to say as much, as Conan began to run off to look for the book.

Silence.

“That brat seemed much too energetic for this time of day.” Kogoro frowned, scratching the back of his head, “First the ball, next the glasses, and then a book. Kinda reminds me of him, in a sense.”

“Yeah.” Kaito sighed, almost dreamy, “Isn’t it amazing?”

“Pardon?”

“It’s so cute how much happier he looks!” Kaito brightened up, almost too happy, “I love it.”

“O-Oh, the brat?” Kogoro scratched his chin, “I guess you’re more into younger types. Still, what would be my prize?”

“P-Prize?”

Suddenly, he realized he seduced Kogoro here, and he couldn’t help but wince back, before he walked up, hesitantly. Putting on his poker face.

“What would it be?” Kogoro grinned, “Eh?”

Kaito paused for a moment, before a hand appeared on his shoulder, causing him to jump.

He turned around to see Jii, with a polite smile.

“Oh, um…” Kaito smiled nervously, “… F-Father! Hi!”

“Father!?” Kogoro cried, backing up nervously, “Oh, um, hi!”

“What are you doing, _young lady_?” Jii went along with it, “Such a lazy woman, seducing men into doing your dirty work… You should be ashamed.”

“S-Sorry, _father_!” Kaito cried, chuckling nervously, “I-I had to, for your grandchild!”

“I already brought him home for the night.” Jii rose an eyebrow, “Now come along, before I ground you.”

“But _daaaaaaaaaaaaaaad_!”

“No buts.” Jii grabbed his wrist, “We’ll come back for the items tomorrow. Your health is more important. You’re overworking yourself again, _young lady_.”

Kaito pretended to pout as Jii pulled him away.

Kogoro watched the scene with interest. Couldn’t help _but watch_. _He understood_ , really. Being a father himself.

Conan came back, book in arms.

Conan _smiled_ though.

“Why are _you_ smiling, brat?”

“I-I…” Conan started, before scratching the back of his head, “… N-Nothing.”

Kogoro scoffed, turning to leave, as Conan watched Kaito and Jii get away.

He opened the book, to see one more time.

’ _Returning what’s yours plus more_.

 _-Kaito KID_.’

He closed the book, and looked at the gem with a _smirk_.

**X-X-X-X**

’ _I knew it was him, though_.’

Kaito listened through his listening device, as he softly smiled.

’ _For one, he kept referring his child as ‘they’ instead of a spacific gender_. _Obviously didn’t want to connect to his imaginary child_.’

’ _How did you know his imaginary child was non-binary_? _I mean, he included the detail of them being bullied_.’

’ _True, but there was another reason_.’

’ _What is it_?’

’ _The fact that he wasn’t putting ANY effort into looking for his imaginary child_. _Shows how much HE cares about his imaginary children_.’

’ _It was the middle of the night_. _Maybe waiting for the imaginary child to come to him would make more sense_. _During the night, children get more tired, needy, and scared_.’

’ _I have one more piece of evidence_.’

’ _What is it_?’

’ _The fact that he called ME, before he called Uncle_.’

Kaito winced back. Remembering that huge mistake.

’ _Whoa, really_!?’

He needs to change his number, before he uses it to turn him in. He decided to call Jii over.

’ _See, I have his number, right here_. _Let me call it_.’

He winced as his cellphone did ring. He answered it, using that same voice.

“ _Oh, hi, ma'am_?”

“Who is this?” Kaito asked, still using that woman’s voice, “I’m busy right now.”

“ _Doing_?”

“I’m sorry, but the young lady is busy.” Jii snatched the phone to answer Conan. “Please call back later when she has free time.”

“ _Oh, I-I apologize_.”

Jii hung up, as Kaito mouthed ’ _thank you_ ’ to Jii.

’ _That seems like that wasn’t KID_.’

’ _M-Moron, that- that can’t be_ …’

Kaito sighed as he listened one more time.

’ _Maybe he stole her phone_.’

He took out the listening ear phones, before slouching down, exhausted.

Silence.

“Thank you, Jii-chan.” Kaito softly smiled, “I need to change my number.”

“I’ll set an appointment.” Jii nodded, before picking up a glass to clean it, “Maybe next time, you shouldn’t have called the detective directly.”

“I wanted to lure him there, somehow.” Kaito pouted, “I couldn’t come up with an excuse for _him alone_ to come, so I called Mouri, instead.”

“At least you learned your lesson, young master.” Jii nodded, putting down the glass, “In the mean time, hand me your phone. I’ll answer any future calls from that young detective. Aoko-san, I’ll give the phone to you.”

“Thanks, Jii.” Kaito smiled, “That means a lot.”

“You’re welcome, young master.”

“Say, would you… Be my grandfather?”

Silence.

“Probably not.” Kaito chuckled lightly, “That was a strange question.”

“I am only your assistant, Master Kaito.” Jii shook his head with a small smile, “Since Master Toichi took me in. Still, I was asked to watch over you, since Master Toichi cared for you, that much. I _could_ be like a grandfather to you, but only in certain situations. Just remember, I am only your assistant.”

Kaito smiled.

He likes that.

“Thanks, again…” Kaito softly smiled, obviously happy, “… Jii-chan.”

“You’re welcome, Master Kaito.”

He put the listening ear phones back on, and suddenly the subject changed to the ocean for some reason. Talking about going to the beach, and eating seafood.

Kaito visibly shivered, at the mention of _f-f-fish_.

He took it back off, and waved at Jii with a grin.

“ _I’m gonna prank Hakuba_.” Kaito whispered, before walking out the door.

Jii shook his head, as he turned off the listening device. He smiled, as he looked at the new item that Kaito had brought with him. This was _definitely_ staying for a while. He grabbed the item, and moved it aside so he could clean the counters.

It was just a small notebook. Something he knew Conan would miss, but he was sure Kaito would keep it for a while. Written inside was notes on certain people.

 _He was on the page of Kaito KID_.

Obviously, this detective liked him back, and Jii couldn’t help but shake his head with a smile.

 _Teenagers, these days_.

Still, he hoped that Kaito can wait.

He’ll have to keep an eye on him, just in case.

He was asked to watch over, after all.

**X-X-X-X  
The End…**

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write some fluff with Kaito and Jii while Kaito has an obvious crush on Conan.
> 
> After reading some [fics](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12616332?view_adult=true) that inspired me / give me some ideas, I couldn't help but write one myself. ^^


End file.
